Sunday, July 31, 2005

Gite Nayes - Creedmoor Home (Wrecking) Center Opens Today

Be'ezras hashish yisborach and thanks largely to this blog, the number of yidden who are interested in being mekayem the mitzvah of biur machsan ve'mifal (burning of warehouses and factories) in time for 9 Av has grown to the point that we cannot stock enough accelerants, solvents, and defective electrical equipment in MehaDreckMart. So, we are proud to announce the opening of:

YECHAREV BAISCHO - THE CREEDMOOR HOME (WRECKING) CENTER
Your one stop shop for pure Arab crude based petroleum distillates, in liquid, solid and gel form, all kasher lemehadrin and guaranteed free of tumos haTzionis. We also feature UL uncertified heaters and stoves from slave labor factories in China and Pakistan, as well as defective fuses and underpowered circuit breakers. All are priced at least 250% above properly manufactured substitutes!
Yecharev Baischo is operated by the legendary insurance adjuster Groinem Nishtgeferlachman, who will assist you in claiming all possible insurance and compensation from public and private sources as well as providing you with the best advice and instructions regarding biur. Our staff of incompetent pyrotechnicians will make sure YOU don't get burnt when your warehouse goes up in flames!
Guarantee: If you end up in Federal or State koilel after burning your property with our products, A SHALIACH OF THE ADMOU"R WILL LEARN WITH YOU EVERY DAY IN THE CAN!
So, come and see Reb Groinem today! Your warehouse might regret it, but you won't! For the months of Tammuz, Av and Elul, we offer ONE FREE QUART OF SAUDI KEROSENE with every gallon purchased! The more you buy, the more you save!
Call Groinem NOW at 1-888-GEB-RENT! Yecharev Baischo is located in Kiryas Naye Creedmoor, between Chaim's Hymishe Talking Fish Store and MehaDreckMart.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

try this site too. very funny
http://donkeymoshiach.blogspot.com/

S said...

Cr, it's amazing how you come up with funny stories.

anonymous said...

from your language it's pretty obviuos that you're a yu faker. biur machsan vemifal?!

Der Shygetz said...

Listen, vus di vilst fin myn leben? Ich hob nit kyne kesher mit YU, ober if you can guess my real affiliation or background I'll gib tzi dir a subway ticket di kenst bamenitzin zich far tzi foren in Creedmoor!

anonymous said...

biur machsan umifal is rein ivrit nisht vi inzere heimishe yidden redden, nitamul lushen koidesh.
deine andere tuisim mit'n leigen a t anshtut a s beim sof vort geben mir azoi tzi farshtehen.
ich vart oifn ticket